Friday, November 03, 2006

How Can God Love Me More Than I Love Scamp?

Have you ever sat back and wandered about who God really was? What type of character God has? I know that for a while I believed that God was a big, mean, powerful being that reigned over me with an iron fist, ready to punish me at a moments notice. I have to work on not believing that lie. For me to feel ok about myself, have self-worth, I have to believe that God loves me unconditionally.

Today, I was thinking about how I love Scamp. It gives me joy to watch her playing and having fun. I'm excited to see her when she wakes up from her nap. I clap and pick her up and squeeze her. I can't give her enough hugs and kisses even when she's pulling away from me. I love her just the way she is, no strings attached.

What if God felt that way about me? I let myself feel that today. I imagined what it would be like if God was standing in the room with me. God clapped when I woke up this morning, and He couldn't wait to tell everyone that I was awake. He followed me around the house hugging me and kissing me. He was so excited to talk to me. He listened intently to every word I said. He told me that nothing about me was a mistake. He planned for me to be just the way I am even though I tried to argue.

You wouldn't believe the weight that was lifted off my chest. I don't have to prove anything to God. I don't have to work and work to show Him how good I am. He loves me so much that He even has the hairs on my head numbered (Matthew 10:30) and knows when one falls off.

I needed a little bit of healing today. God loves me and every believer in Him much more than I could ever imagine. I have to even relate His love to my own love that is far from perfect to be able to understand even a little. I don't know how many hairs are on Scamp's head:) I may not even know how to love her the way she needs me to, but I do know that God can if I believe (and she believes for herself).

I believe that God's love for me is perfect for today. That even when I make huge mistakes I can always come to Him. That I am loveable and acceptable. And that I need Him far more than I can realize. I need to be loved unconditionally. I think everyone does.

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