Do You Want to Know About Me?

A month or so ago I asked my blogging friends to give me questions to answer about myself. Today, I'm going to begin to answer them.

Karen asked, "I know you have a passion for writing. Have you always loved writing? If not, how and when did it start?"

It's hard to say when my love of writing began. I didn't write anything outside of assignments for school, but a couple of teachers starting in middle school commented that I had a gift for writing, which sank fairly deep. I entered a "Just Say No" writing contest in the 8th grade and won for my school. I was thoroughly surprised. Writing had always come easily to me, but I didn't think anything of it. But, by high school I realized more of my desire to write when I joined the high school newspaper.

My newspaper teacher was very encouraging and inspiring. She saw a gift, which I was yet to see, and pushed me to write better and better. I later become the editor-n-chief (one of two I might add) my senior year, an accomplishment I'm proud of still today. I loved writing for the newspaper, but I didn't want to seek journalism as a career. My teacher was disappointed that I wasn't going to continue writing after high school. I did, however, discover my love of writing poetry that same year. I wrote to cope with my feelings of depression. Beyond poetry, I wasn't that interested in writing.

Through my early twenties I only wrote for school assignments in college besides poems ever so often when I had the inspiration. I married at 23 and wrote several love poems to my sweetheart husband. As our relationship continued we began to have problems and sought counseling. My counselors encouraged me to journal, not just poetry, and my love of writing deepened.

Then, I gave birth to our beautiful daughter, Scamp, almost 3 years ago. I started my blog with Scamp as my inspiration, and God revealed to me (again) the passion that had always been instilled in me. I hadn't realized my passion before or at least how deep it was. God had been preparing me all along and continues to today. I want to share my life struggles and how God has miraculously brought me through. I feel as though I am only beginning. I'm at the cusp. He opened the door for me (and another blogger) to start a book review blog entitled Teen Lit Review. I'm able to share my love of God through this ministry. But, He's still preparing in me a deeper message, and in what outlet it will be shared I'm not completely sure. I do believe, however, part of it will be in writing.

Isn't God Amazing?

Yet again another follow-up post. For the whole story read parts 1 and 2.

So, many of you may be wondering how I am doing emotionally. Well...I've pretty much been at peace since the beginning, minus the whole scared for my own life thing. Don't take it the wrong way that I didn't have concern and longing for the baby. God eased my concerns. It's quite an amazing thing. I thought I would feel guilt and tend to on a lot more menial things, but I felt like I handed my baby into the arms of Jesus. Of course, it helped that we only knew I was pregnant for less than 24 hours. Everything was in God's control.

I haven't really been through what I would consider a typical mourning process. I have not broken down. I may yet. But, I do believe that God used His word to prepare me for what Matt and I were about to go through. I do have some sadness over what could have been, but God has given me a quaint joy knowing that when I do reach heaven, I will see the child He had intended to live with Him in heaven. I know God also used those who interceded through prayer for Matt and I during this time.

I am full of awe for God for His mercy and power, and I am able to walk away from this knowing two things:

Prayer changes things.

And God's peace surpasses everything.

Tea Parties and Blessings

Scamp and I have been having tea parties every few days with the porcelain tea set her Nana got her for Christmas. Since she's still so small, I only fill the tea pot with water and place the cups and plates on an absorbent blanket on the floor. Then, I lay out lots of tiny crackers, cookies, and fruit for us.

Halfway through our last tea party, Scamp told me to close my eyes. I assumed she meant we needed to say the blessing, so I asked her if she wanted to. She did. I closed my eyes and waited with anticipation as to what she would say.

"Dear God,
Blah, blah, blah...Jesus loves me for the Bible tells me so...more toddler babble...Jesus' name, Amen."

I was so delighted. You ought to have seen the tremendous smile on my face during her prayer. What a blessing to a mom! I'm sure God was tremendously blessed as well.

High Flying Scamp

Our little daredevil loves to "jump", which basically means she loves for her Daddy to pitch her into a pile of pillows atop our bed. She loves to soar through the air and land smack onto her belly or back. This reminds me of my calling as a parent. We are to teach our children to reach their fullest God-given potential in their lives. And yes, some may be called to fly in a sense. We are to teach them that through God all things are possible. If God wants us to soar above the clouds, He will make it possible by giving us the abilities and means to do so. In this case, Scamp needs her Daddy to help her fly just like we need our Father in heaven to help us live beyond what we feel we are capable of doing by ourselves.

What seemingly impossible situation are you dealing with today? God promises us that we are never alone and every trial we go through is for a reason. We will make it through if we just trust in Him. And what we once believed to be impossible won't always be. Let go of your fears and put your trust in the One who will never let you fall.

Lifehouse's Everything Skit

Lifehouse's Everything Skit

A friend sent this to me. It's a very powerful message. I had it on the blog, but it was taking a while to load.

Thankful Over Thanksgiving

Over the Thanksgiving holiday I always think about what I'm thankful for. Normally, it's for my family and friends, the time we have together, and God's love. But, this year we've had a couple other more immediate needs that God met that have made me even more thankful for His presence.

Thanksgiving night, I went to bed fairly early since I was going to be getting up with Scamp the next morning. Beef was going to bed soon there after, but when I awoke at midnight, he was outside. Our heat had went out, and it was only blowing cold air. The temperature was dropping rapidly outside and now inside our home. But, Beef stayed up to 1:30 am working outside on the unit to make sure we did have the heat we needed. He worked on it most the next day until a technician came out and fixed it for us.

I'm reminded of the verses Matthew 6:25-27. "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?"

God will provide our every need. In this case, He made sure we stayed warm.

The next day, Beef, Scamp and I were driving through town when we came upon an intersection. The light was turning yellow as we went under, and out to our left, another car was coming straight towards us through their red light. I put my hands up to cover my face and pray, "Lord, help us" while every bit of my being braced itself for the impact. But the collision never came. I opened my eyes to find Beef had gotten us safely across, thanks to God, of course. I was so thankful (and still a little anxious) for God sparing us that I teared up.

"Ask and it will be given to you..." Matthew 7:7. I believe God sent His angels to spare us from harm.

Lord,
Thank you for Your love, Your mercy, and Your protection. I pray that I would remember these times to know that I can always trust in You. You will meet my every need. Thank you for Your grace most of all, for sending Your Son to die upon the cross for our sins so that we could have an eternal relationship with You. And thank you for my husband who sees to it that Scamp and I are safe.
In Jesus' name,
Amen

God's Clapping for You

How wonderful to know that when you woke up this morning God clapped for you and told everyone in heaven to rejoice that you were awake. He rejoices because He can't love you enough. You are so precious to Him, like a child to her mother. But, God loves You more than you could ever know. Hard to imagine isn't it? Take a minute and really think about what it would feel like if that was what God did for you this morning. How does that make you feel? It made my heart feel overwhlemed with joy. I wanted to get up and spread that love with others. I wanted someone else to feel the way God's love makes me feel.

God wants YOU to feel loved today. He wants to hug you and kiss you even when you pull away. He wants to protect you even though sometimes He does allow you to fall. Not out of punishment or pleasure though. He wants you to learn from your mistakes, to grow into the person He knows you can be.

Lord,
Thank you for your unconditional love through every trial and temptation we've encountered. Thank you for helping us to grow even though it pained Your heart to see us go through those trials. Help us to really believe in the truth of your unconditional love and to be able to to love others in that same way.
In Jesus' name,
Amen

5 Things You Want Your Kids To Know

I stole this meme from Karen at Surviving Motherhood, who was tagged by the original creator of the meme, Claire at One Passion...One Devotion. Those participating are supposed to share the five things they want their kids to know before they “grow up” and then leave a link to their meme in the comment section of Claire’s original post.

1. Mama's not perfect. That's why she has to rely on God. I hope to teach Scamp that we all need a Savior and are all in need of forgiveness.

2. God's not a big, mean tyrant who stomps on you while you're down. I believed this lie for years. And God is still transforming my mind to not believe that I have to earn my way to Him. He loves unconditionally. He always forgives me, and He doesn't look at me any differently when I've messed up. Oh, that hits so close to home.

3. Your own worth is not tied into how others see you. You don't have to be a people pleaser. It's ok to say no, and it's ok if others say they don't like you because what's most important is how God sees you. When you're saved, Jesus' righteousness is bestowed to you. God cannot see you any other way than how He sees His perfect Son. We will never be perfect, but that's God's FREE gift -- righteousness.

4. I will always love you. I'm not God. I do get frustrated. I make mistakes. But, I do love you.

5. You will reap what you sow. The Bible is telling the truth. Sin has consequences that we have to bear. If you choose to live in darkness, then your life will be dark. If you live in the truth, in God's light, you will see the blessings.

I don't tag very often, but I'm going to this time:

Sonya at Mo Mhile Gra
Vail at Thoughts of a Wannabe
Momma at Momma's Mindsweep
Lauren at Baseballs and Bows
Annie at My Life As Annie
Elizabeth at the Hazlett Family

Let me know if you can participate.

God Is Good!

I've been dealing with some major issues for several years now, some of which I am not ready to disclose over the web. But as of recent, these huge burdens have been lifted. My situation seemed so impossible. At times, I would literally lay down and cry and beg God for His mercy, of course not always believing He could (no, would) help me. For many years I let myself wallow in a pit of self-loathing and self-pity. I still battle with issues of low self-esteem on occasion, but God is teaching me that His love of me matters above all else. These feelings complicated my already difficult situation, but God is powerful enough to work on all angles.

Once I truly started to believe God's wisdom and not man's was what I needed, I began to see some real changes. First, God worked on my attitude. When you have a bleak and negative view of difficult situations, everything seems to worsen. When I began thanking God for the minute changes, I felt the hope that could only come from Him. With renewed hope, I increased my prayers, praying for specific areas in my life that needed to be restored. I began seeking out friends/prayer warriors who aided me through difficult situations with encouragement. All the while, I started believing that God really does want to change my predicament and that nothing is impossible through Him. This is only a small glimpse of what God has done and is doing in my life at present.

Although there are more areas that God is continuing to work on with me, I am a living example of the power of His mercy and hope. God is good!