The Only Man I've Ever Loved: Part 3

My Top 10

I eventually forgave Matt for torturing me at the amusement park, and we began hanging out often. One of our favorite places to go was our school’s rec center. He taught me how to use the weights, and we would go several times a week. We ran together; actually, I would walk and he would run swishing my ponytail as he passed me on the track. He taught me how to play racquetball, and luckily he survived. I pelted him a few times in areas I do not care to mention. We went swimming. I splashed around in the water while he tried to dunk me. All just sibling rivalry, or was it? The rec center would be the place where I first noticed those little sparks of love, but that is further along in the story.

It was the fall semester of 1998, two years after Matt and I had first met. Georgia Girl had just ended their 2-year relationship, and Matt was obviously angry and heartbroken. To work his frustrations out and to meet girls as he later concluded, he decided to develop a Relationship Test to be taken via computer. The idea was that a guy or girl would put their better half to the test. The 1st part of the analysis directed each person to identify their own top 10 desired qualities in a mate. Next, the person would see how many of those qualities their love interest possessed. If he/she matched 7 out of 10 qualities, the program would conclude that he/she was well suited for that person. Six or less meant you had better find love and compatibility elsewhere.

Matt encouraged me to take the test and put my current love on trial. I listed my top 10 qualities, but I knew beforehand that my other half did not match my standards. Thus, I secretly chose Matt to compare because I knew he would stand up to my values. He was, after all, the best person I knew. He loved God and placed Him first in his life closely followed by family. Unbeknownst to Matt, the test actually worked toward his advantage. He had aced it by meeting every single one of the traits I had listed. I dared not to tell him! I didn’t want him to think I had feelings for him, feelings that I myself did not know I had. Was this the beginning of love?

As the weeks followed, I found myself thinking more and more about Matt and the feelings I thought I might have toward him. We continued to work out together just like we always had, big Bro’ helping little Sis’. But, this time was different. Never before had I noticed any feelings while my hands laid firmly in his for support as I curled the weights. I was thinking excessively, “Was I really getting nervous around him? No, Shawna. You’re just making things up. He’s my BROTHER!” In actuality, he wasn’t. “But, what do I do if I like him?”

I was going to have to wait. This was definitely not the time. He had just been greatly wounded by the one girl he thought he would be with forever. He had also been dating a lot, and I was not about to be one of the rebounds. What's more, our friendship was too irreplaceable to be tossed aside for flighty feelings that had not yet been grounded.

Click Our Love Story to catch up on previous segments, and part 4 is coming next week.