Monday, March 30, 2009

Before the Storm

We had several tornado warnings this past Saturday, but right before the bad weather really hit us, this is what we saw in the sky. There are actually two rainbows. A fainter one is right above the vivid one. I always feel blessed every time I see one. I know it is a gift from God. The wind and rain hit us about an hour after that. It only lasted a few minutes. We were in Wal Mart when it hit, but by the time we left, it had already passed. The winds hit a few places in town including destroying the front of our older movie theater.

Tomorrow, I'll be 39 weeks. Going into labor is most of what I'm thinking about at this point. Every pain sends a thought of, "Was that a contraction?" My emotions are pretty much on a roller coaster ride. My hopes are up. My hopes are down. My hopes are up, and so on. Poor Scamp and Beef. I'm so irritable. I've felt a bit more encouraged today, but it is a trying time, a worrisome time. I want everything to be ok with the baby. I don't want to be induced, but at the same time, the waiting is really getting to me.

I'm also worried about the big change that is about to happen in our household. I have a hard time with change. Two children instead of one. How will we all survive?! I was freaked out, too, when I was pregnant with Scamp. I disliked people asking me if I was excited. Yes but more so freaked out about being a mother. I do have a little more confidence since this will be the second one.

This tends to happen to me: I freak out, lose faith, see that everything turns out just the way God intended, then I wonder why I ever doubted. I'm on my own journey through the wilderness. Gee, isn't it funny that that is exactly what we are studying in BSF? The books of Moses as he led the Israelites through the desert. And as if that big honking rainbow in the sky didn't speak clearly enough to me to have hope.

I really could use some prayers.:)


Karie Lee said...

We missed that rainbow! Thanks for sharing here. You're little one will be here before you know it. Enjoy these last few days of having an only child ;)

Mari said...

Awe Shawna, I WILL be keeping you in my prayers. This waiting game is trying, and I completely can relate to all the feelings you described. I'm so glad we, (women) get to carry the babies, all of our emotions create who we are as mothers. Many prayers for a quick labor and smooth delivery!

Stacy at Exceedingly Mundane said...

Gosh, what a gorgeous rainbow! I haven't seen a full one in a long time. And you're right, it's a great reminder of God's love and faithfulness for us, all of us. Hang in there, I know it's hard right now but it's going to be fantabulous soon :)

hyperactive lu said...

Love the rainbow! We had one too after all the storms passed by! Can you see the same rainbow in different states?! Never thought about it.

Anyway, when I had Peanut, I was freaking out that I couldn't handle Bubbie and Peanut. You will do FINE! Believe me! I am anal, uptight, hate to sit and be still and like to be doing and I SURVIVED!!! I think having Bubbie being 3yrs REALLY helped. I mean, he wanted attention, but he was old enough to sit next to me on the couch and watch a movie or play a puzzle while I fed Peanut. I also think that since babies sleep so much....DURING THE helps dividing your time! I am praying. I know the waiting game is horrible and I am definitely praying no induction is necessary. Hang in there!!! :)

gail@more than a song said...

Yep, that rainbow is pretty and it does speak doesn't it! You're gonna do just fine! It might be hard for a bit as y'all adjust but it will all get easier. And one day you'll wonder what you did before you had them!

Irritable Mother said...

Hmmmm, it's been a while since you posted this...Could it be the baby has arrived???
Praying for you, Shawna. Remember the promise of the rainbow!

Donetta said...

Thinking about you and your sweet family. Be embraced.