Monday, March 30, 2009
Before the Storm
We had several tornado warnings this past Saturday, but right before the bad weather really hit us, this is what we saw in the sky. There are actually two rainbows. A fainter one is right above the vivid one. I always feel blessed every time I see one. I know it is a gift from God. The wind and rain hit us about an hour after that. It only lasted a few minutes. We were in Wal Mart when it hit, but by the time we left, it had already passed. The winds hit a few places in town including destroying the front of our older movie theater.
Tomorrow, I'll be 39 weeks. Going into labor is most of what I'm thinking about at this point. Every pain sends a thought of, "Was that a contraction?" My emotions are pretty much on a roller coaster ride. My hopes are up. My hopes are down. My hopes are up, and so on. Poor Scamp and Beef. I'm so irritable. I've felt a bit more encouraged today, but it is a trying time, a worrisome time. I want everything to be ok with the baby. I don't want to be induced, but at the same time, the waiting is really getting to me.
I'm also worried about the big change that is about to happen in our household. I have a hard time with change. Two children instead of one. How will we all survive?! I was freaked out, too, when I was pregnant with Scamp. I disliked people asking me if I was excited. Yes but more so freaked out about being a mother. I do have a little more confidence since this will be the second one.
This tends to happen to me: I freak out, lose faith, see that everything turns out just the way God intended, then I wonder why I ever doubted. I'm on my own journey through the wilderness. Gee, isn't it funny that that is exactly what we are studying in BSF? The books of Moses as he led the Israelites through the desert. And as if that big honking rainbow in the sky didn't speak clearly enough to me to have hope.
I really could use some prayers.:)