Wednesday, March 07, 2007

The Only Man I've Ever Loved: Part 5

Meeting at Missions

I couldn’t keep my new found prophecy to myself. Good news has to be shared, and share I did. Joseph, my other BSU brother, was one of the first I captivated with my illustrious spiritual experience. I explained that under God’s divine promise, Matt and I would exchange wedding vows. Joseph was all for it and even convinced me that we should take a trip down to visit Matt on his mission trip.

Unwilling to wait any longer and with Joseph’s encouragement, I hunted Matt down. I was able to acquire the number of the BSU he was staying at in Cleveland. It was a main line, so I left a straightforward message asking Matt to call. I anxiously waited, and a week later, he did. He sounded excited to hear from me and even more eager for me to come and visit. We planned a day of site-seeing in Chattanooga, which happened to be the city right outside of Cleveland.

Joseph and I, along with another couple I invited (Jonathan and Greyson), headed south. They had never met Matt before but my love struck enthusiasm had infected them as well as I explained my epiphany of adoration toward him during the lengthy drive to Chattanooga. My hopes were high from the intoxicating love spell as I anticipated Matt’s response to our meeting. I wasn’t going to tell him of my feelings. I would sit back and wait for him to come to me as I knew God had promised he would.

We began with introductions and I, scarcely concealing my nervousness, could barely talk to him as we perused the first site-seeing tour of the day, the Chattanooga Aquarium. My mind was full of frantic inquiries, “Did he have a revelation as well? Was I the one for him?”

Whether consciously or haphazardly on his part, the longer we toured the less interested he seemed in me! He even began patronizing me like an older brother picking on his little sister! “What is going on?,” I asked myself. “He’s hurting my feelings. This isn’t how he treated me before he left for missions.” Our acquaintances even made mention of the callousness of his conduct with me. It took all the effort I had not to break down and cry in front of him.

Before departing, we decided that our last stop of the day would be a locally-themed restaurant. However, my distressed feelings were nearly as hard to shovel down as the food before me. I was so confused and heart-broken; I had thought this would be our magical beginning of togetherness. It wasn’t. And to make matters worse, Matt had hugged everyone goodbye, including Jonathan (a guy he had met once) – everyone except for me. “What kind of message are you sending, Matt?” I wondered.

If I wasn’t depressed enough yet, I was about to become even more dispirited. Matt and I had emailed each other prior to our Cleveland meeting, but for the last few weeks of the summer I didn’t hear from him. Finally, he corresponded, but the email was addressed to "Sis”. I felt a sinking, sick feeling in my gut. “Is this what he still saw me as?” I shuddered at the thought.

Desperate for Matt’s attention, I awaited his return at the BSU on our first day of school. I hadn’t been completely crushed yet and was still enthused about seeing him. He was sitting across from me in the lounge, recounting his trip to some of our mutual friends. And then, he said them, the words I never expected to hear, the words I didn’t want to acknowledge, and the words that were never meant to be uttered by him to me. “I met a girl while I was there, and we’re dating.”

If you've missed previous segments, visit Our Love Story to catch up. Part 6 is coming soon.


lifeasamama said...

oh no!!! i've been reading this story, and can imagine how crushed you were... can't wait for the next installment.

Vader's Mom said...

Oh the bummer!

Anonymous said...

OMG! I can't believe it! I can't wait for the next post!

Sonya said...

Ok, you have to stop doing this to me! LOL! The suspense is killing me! I have to hear what came next! You could sell this thing! LOL!