Who Needs Lessons in Cycling 101?

That would be me! A couple of weeks ago, I took my brand-new bicycle out for a spin while Beef watched Scamp. It was one of the first cool fall evenings we had, and I wanted to enjoy it. I had made it about 5 minutes from home when I hit a small incline causing me to pedal my hardest. I reached the summit of the the hill winded but confident when my right pant leg got caught in the chain of the bicycle. I was able to catch myself before turning over or pulling my pants down, but when I bent down to unhook myself, I couldn't. The end of my workout pants was lodged well within the metal chain and even the hardest of yanks wasn't freeing it. I didn't know what to do but when I saw an seemingly nice pedestrian making her way toward me, and I motioned her over.

"Excuse me," I said, "This is so embarrassing, but my pant leg seems to be caught, and I think I'm going to need a pair of scissors to cut myself loose."

"Oh," she said. "I have a cell phone. Maybe we could call someone."

I began looking around at all the homes surrounding us and started hinting that maybe she could see if one of our neighbors had any scissors. She seemed threatened by this decision, so I told her I would just call my husband.

I was feeling so awkward that I misdialed twice but finally got Beef on the phone.

"Honey, I need you to bring me a pair of scissors. My pant leg is caught," I tried explaining.

"What?" he replied. He seemed to be baffled by my proclamation.

"Just get in the car and come with a pair of scissors. I'm stuck," I said.

"Ok. I'll be right there," he stated after I told him which street I was stranded on.

I thanked my kind helper, and she walked away leaving me to stand awkwardly on the side of the road next to my bicycle, one pant leg hiked halfway up my calf and a humiliated look on my face. I tried not making any eye contact with the other passer-byers, even another walker with two large dogs that had to stop and sniff the tires of my bicycle.

It seemed Beef was taking forever to come to my rescue. I even considered trying to walk straddling my bicycle toward home, but that was going to take ages not to mention how many stares I would receive with that stance! Beef finally arrived and stepped out of the car, scissors in hand with a fresh smirk painted across his face. He walked toward me, looked at the damage, and pushed the right pedal of the bicycle forward causing the chain to rotate halfway around and FREE my pants! If I wasn't mortified enough already, I was then.

"I needed a good laugh today," he said and got back in the car, I'm sure laughing the whole way home. I took off pedaling in the opposite direction, completely embarrassed, with the now untangled pant leg tucked safely in my sock. I rode straight home, too self-conscious to finish my workout. I was glad the lady who helped me hadn't asked the aid of one of my neighbors afterall.

Now, everyone will be able to identify me as the woman on the turquoise bike with her pants tucked into her socks. "She's still stuck in the 80s," they'll think, but I won't correct their assumptions.